That time I cried watching The Fast and Furious
There are three times it’s OK for men to cry:
Grandma’s funeral
During a Superbowl post-game interview (if your team won)
At the end of the 7th movie in the Fast and Furious Franchise: Furious 7 during the in-film tribute for the actor Paul Walker, who had died in an off-set car crash during the film’s production.
I did cry during Furious 7 but Dominic Toretto saying his final goodbye to Walker’s character Brian before they each speed off into the sunset in opposite directions - a scene that Vin Diesel described in an interview as “The best moment in cinematic history”…
didn’t do it for me.
Resurrecting a dead actor feels weird. Also, how do we avoid a Snowball II situation?
If you’re not familiar, Snowball 2 is the Simpsons' second cat. “Snowball 2” is also the Simpsons’ 5th cat but Lisa decides it’s better to just call him “Snowball 2” so she and everyone else can just move on (and forget the horrific and tragic deaths of Snowball 2, Snowball 3, and Snowball 4/aka Coltrane).
When I watched the scene with Paul Walker 2 (aka Paul’s brother Cody Walker) behind the wheel looking directly into camera and thought, “Please don’t let this be another thing that the Simpsons predicted”.
If Lisa, the most sensitive Simpson can just move on and forget the whole thing then what’s going to stop a heartless movie executive from pretending the whole thing never happened and casting Paul Walker 2 in Fate of the Furious, F9, Fast X, and the upcoming Fast X: Part II?
By now Paul Walker 2 would be part of the Fast Family and in the unlikely and unfortunate event that Cody Walker dies there’s always Paul Walker’s third even less talented brother, “Snowball 6”.
But I’m not sure that’s the real reason I didn’t cry during the Paul Walker Tribute.
My best guess is that for me the actual emotional climax occurs earlier in the film: When Dom (played by Vin Diesel) and Hobbs (played by The Rock) stop being rivals and start being friends.
My eyes welled up as The (hospitalized) Rock broke broken arm (?) out of cast, hijacked an ambulance, and crashed it off an overpass and into an enemy Humvee.
As The Rock pulled himself from the wrecked ambulance, and proclaims “WOMAN I AM THE CAVALRY” I hurriedly wiped a tear.
By the time the Rock picked up the 250lb machine gun that had previously been mounted atop the enemy humvee, and started firing it (from the hip) at the enemy helicopter to protect the unconscious Dominic Toretto... I was popping snot bubbles.
It’s at that point in time I started to ask myself questions like:
“What the fuck?”
“What the fuck is going on?”
“What the fuck is wrong with me that I didn’t cry at grandma’s funeral?”
A few excuses rushed to my mind, like:
I just have a lot going on right now.
It doesn’t count because I’m on a plane.
This protein bar from Hudson News is not cutting it. (How is the line for Airport Chili’s ToGo always so long?)
None of the excuses hold up. Who doesn’t have a lot going on? Also, a couple of hours ago I sat in the same seat on the same plane and watched Lady Bird, a heartfelt coming of age story by Greta Fucking Gerwig and all I felt was hungry.
I don’t have to make excuses. I cried watching Fast and the Furious 7. The person next to me definitely saw. Pretty sure the hot flight attendant saw. Also, I was in an aisle seat, so the entire back of the plane saw. At that moment I felt ashamed, but now, 7 years later, after thinking about it every single day; I have decided I am proud of this.
Obviously, I don’t have to defend myself, it’s 2023. Society has mostly come around to the idea that men can and should have emotions.
And I agree with that but also there are still harmful stereotypes about men. If I fail to acknowledge how my public display of emotion is perceived, I risk perpetuating those same harmful stereotypes.
For example:
If I cry during Lady Bird on a plane, it lets the people around me know that I am not like the other boys. I am kind, sensitive, and highly evolved.
If someone catches me crying watching Fast and the Furious on the inflight entertainment system mounted on the seat in front of me, I am either a dumb guy with no inner life or a huge pussy.
And I don’t think that’s an entirely unfair assumption to make when you see a man weeping and then you look to see what he’s watching it’s a helicopter exploding with Djimon Hounsou, the guy from Blood Diamond, going NOOOOOOOOOO.
To that I say: just because you see a man crying while watching an explosion does not mean he is crying because of the explosion.
When most people saw The Rock shoot the bag of grenades that Vin Diesel threw from the driver seat of a 1970 Dodge Charger into the cockpit of the enemy Blackhawk helicopter all they see is an explosion.
When I saw The Rock shoot the bag of grenades that Vin Diesel threw from the driver seat of a 1970 Dodge Charger into the cockpit of the enemy Blackhawk helicopter what I saw was friendship, as a concept.
Putting others first.
The courage it takes to ignore the advice of doctors, signage posted by the Los Angeles Department of Transportation, and the laws of physics in order to help a friend.
Would I look out for my friends like that? I like to think I would, but I’m scared I wouldn’t.
Do I have friends who would do that for me? I hope so, but I’m sometimes I’m not sure.
According to a study by Gallup the number of men with at least 6 close personal friends fell by half between 1991 and 2021. 15 percent of adult men in America have no close personal friends. Many media outlets have described this phenomenon among American men as a “friendship recession.”
Maybe that’s part of it.
Maybe it’s just that I want what all American men want…
To be close personal friends with Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, for him to respect me, to always have my back, and to come over for Coronas and Barbecue at my family’s 100-year-old home a few blocks away from Dodger Stadium at 1327 East Kensington Road, Los Angeles.
